All of a sudden, my grades are prefect. My blogs for my Theatre Appreciation class were more than mediocre. I would say they deserved a 24 out of 25; however, every time I wrote, I received a 22. It isn’t bad, but I want that great score for such an easy class. Now, after chatting with my professor before one of our shows, I SUDDEN see my grades for my blogs becoming PREFECT scores. Note: I haven’t changed my writing style or technique. They are all the same.

Is it that simple to get a professor to take you seriously or do they opt out of really grading once they get to know you??

The start of my screenplay… and of course, Robert Downey Jr is in it. Duh! 

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. That, what I chose, was for the right reasons. If that was hardly the case, I would feel happy, even content in the matter, which I do not. 

Sometimes I wander back to the day I said “yes” — maybe to see if I could have it any differently. Though, at times, I cannot remember even saying those words, mostly just going through the motions as someone else said for me. I do admit it was quick judgment — no, error — on my part. However, there really is not much I can do  about it now. I am stuck. I am stuck with this decision for the rest of my life. 

Someday I will look back and see this moment, the moment when I gave in and allowed myself to be tamed into something other than myself. It, at most, will haunt me, especially because I am trapped, with nowhere to go — and no one to turn to. So every night, I cry myself to sleep, trying to heal me with my tears while — hoping —

Someday and in sometime, I will be whole again. 

It’s official. The first day to our last year of our lives has just begun. Now honestly, I have never followed, nor agreed with the Mayan Calendar; however, what if this is truly our last year? I am only twenty-three years old with an imagination of a 40 year old business billionaire and a 5 year old coloring-book maniac. I can’t have 355 days left. I can’t just ignore these warning signs either. Especially since I want my life to read like a very powerful Michael Jackson dance. I want to have swag and kicking. Maybe a little Moonwalking action going on. But, so far, that has not happened. I have only been walking forward with my eyes closed, hoping for something or someone to open them.

I have been thinking, which does not happen very often, but I need to accomplish something meaningful with my life. I do not  want to die with nothing under my name. I thought I’d die a writer, maybe act along side my idols, where cheating is accepted. Watch out Simon Baker! However, with barely a few pages written and no acting under my belt, that fantasy will only forever live in my dreams. However, with this new motivation and the start of the new year, I have now set a goal for myself. This is not only my countdown to my death, but it is also the countdown to my dreams. 

I am going to finish a novel or a screnplay! Maybe both??? Yes. I am ambitious. 

**This project is not to copy in anyway Julie & Julia. This is not another PerezHilton or TMZ blog. 

Until then, everyone keep it real!